RANSVESTIA

to how they look, but it isn't an obsession and it shouldn't be one for the FP who wants to develop a truly feminine personality. The only way to know women, unless you are one, is to study them, sewing, working, unhappy, silly, tired, depressed, everyday. You have to look at the fat ones and the ugly ones too, to see what they are doing wrong, you have to care deeply. Then and only then can you act and be the woman that your chronological age calls for. If you are young, act young, if middle age, for god sakes don't try to be a teen queen.

This approach isn't for every one, as we all know there are many areas which are grey in FP, and nothing can be black or white. Cross dressers range all the way from drag queens to transsexuals, and there are many stopping places in between. Some who just like to dress, or wear certain things do border on fetishism. There is nothing wrong with this of course, although we all have something that we look best in or like the most, every one, man and woman, does. We have occasional dressers, and those whom the spirit hits very strongly, and disappears for periods of time. Moving farther over, there are those of us who are more or less immersed, who develop or try to totally, who are willing to make some or many sacrifices, and they who have made a clear cut decision to live as women. Then there are the few rare cases where there is no other answer but to be complete, and make the supreme sacrifices for it. We have to decide what we are, and be proud of it, enjoy what we want, and what we are limited to by our circumstances. But once we know, we should strive to be exactly what we want to be, and be willing to do what needs to be done. An ad- dage that I live with is that we are only going to be here once, and we should have what we want and enjoy it while we can. We are able to make our own destiny and we should. I swore, while I was in Vietnam that if I lived, I was going to be just the sort of person I wanted. It required a new life style, a divorce, being brutally honest and a lot of sacrifices, but I wouldn't change a thing. I have the rest of my life ahead of me and I shall enjoy it. I knew that I was rather far to the right of the scale, but it took guidance to find the place for me. I had even done quite a bit of checking into a permanent change, when I had the opportunity to speak with Vir- ginia, and get some good sound advice, even if the coast to coast phone call did set me back a few dollars. I think that now would be a good time to tell a little of my story and try to illustrate some of the points that I have been trying to make and how they applied to me.

My background is similar to many other cases, so I shall omit the repititious story of trying on my Mother's things, et al. I did start as early as I can remember, with no prodding, or repression, I have always been quite careful, and therefor have never had to go through the prob-

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